How blessed am I to have a daughter like Charly Thomas. Our conversations sometimes help me wrap my arms around my true feelings about things. Last year we had two miscarriages, and Charly knew about the second. She talked about it often trying to process the sadness she felt.
Lately we've had some more deep conversations, mostly about this new baby. When we told our kids at 14 weeks, Cobb jumped for joy stating that he knew God would give us another one. Charly was quiet and pensive. That evening as I put her to bed she patted my hand and said in a quiet voice, "Don't worry mom. I'm excited about the baby." I told her she could feel however she wanted to, and that she could talk to God or daddy or mommy about it when she felt comfortable.
About five days later, she mentioned the baby again. The conversation went something like this:
Charly: Mom, how old will the baby be when I'm 8?
Me: Umm, I think the baby will be 2 years old.
Charly: That's if the baby doesn't die right??
Me: Yes. But the doctor says everything looks great, and I do think God is going to allow us to meet this sweet baby
Charly: But you don't know that.
Me: You're right. I don't know. But I do know that God loves us, and He knows what is best for us. So whatever happens, He wants us to trust Him.
Charly: That's really hard to do sometimes.
Me: I agree. It is. Are you worried?
Charly: Yes.
Me: You know, I get worried too. God told us we can pray to him when we get worried. Do you want to pray with me?
Charly: Yes. (we prayed) I don't feel any better. (we laughed)
Me: Sometimes I don't either so when that happens, I just decided I need to trust God because he knows best. Sometimes I end up praying all day.
Charly: Is it time to go to school?
Me: Yep!
And that day, she hesitantly told someone at the school. Slowly I saw her gain confidence. We all went to the sonogram together this past Tuesday. Such a cool thing to peek into God's creation!
Her teacher told me yesterday that the class was discussing what they were thankful for. Charly raised her hand and said, "I'm thankful that our baby didn't die." I was both relieved and heartbroken to hear her statement. I'm thankful also sweet Charly. Me too! We can all celebrate this sweet gift together.
2 comments:
Oh, Haley!!! What an angel on earth Charly is!! I'm so deeply touched by your conversation with her as well as her honest and bittersweet reactions. I'm a bit older than Charly and her reaction was exactly the reaction I had when we found out we were pregnant again after our miscarriage - Age doesn't matter. What a beautiful heart! God has truly blessed you with such a vessel of His love! I'm eager to one day have such conversations that truly do mimic our inmost conversations with our Lord and Father when we pray. We all feel that vulnerable!
Again, I praise Jesus for your little baby! Thank you for sharing your sweet family's faith!
Haley - I'm so excited for you and Rob and the whole family! Congratulations! I can relate to your conversations with Charly. I had several with our oldest, Turner, as he was trying to process our loss. I'm so excited for you and thankful for your joyous news.
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