Ridge was with me at the doctor's office this past Tuesday. He watched my face as I watched the doctor's. When we searched for the heartbeat, Ridge said, "Don't worry Mommy. Be brave!" And when we started the sonogram & it was becoming apparent that the baby was gone, my tears began to fall. I hear my sweet Ridge say, "Mommy, it's okay Mommy. Don't cry mommy. Be brave mommy." When the result was conclusive, Ridge & I went to the doctor's office to wait for daddy to arrive. Of course, I was trying to be brave, but the tears kept falling. This was our little conversation:
Ridge: Mommy, did that doctor hurt you?
Me: No Ridge. He didn't hurt me.
Ridge: Well, then why you crying?
Me: God decided it was best to take our baby to be with Jesus.
Ridge: Oh. Don't worry mommy. I'll just ask God to give it back!
Me: Thank you Ridge, but I don't think we can have it back. We won't get to meet our baby until Heaven
Ridge: ok. Are you sad mommy?
Me: Yes, I'm so so sad.
He then gave me a huge two year old hug, told me I was a princess, then asked if he could have a lollipop. Sweet, Sweet Ridge. I am so thankful that he was with me. The Lord provided a way for me to see the blessing in the midst of heartache. He has given me three precious kids who are such a joy. Their presence doesn't take away the pain of losing our precious baby, but it puts a bandaid on it every once in a while.