Thursday, September 10, 2009

My Little Comforter

Ridge was with me at the doctor's office this past Tuesday. He watched my face as I watched the doctor's. When we searched for the heartbeat, Ridge said, "Don't worry Mommy. Be brave!" And when we started the sonogram & it was becoming apparent that the baby was gone, my tears began to fall. I hear my sweet Ridge say, "Mommy, it's okay Mommy. Don't cry mommy. Be brave mommy." When the result was conclusive, Ridge & I went to the doctor's office to wait for daddy to arrive. Of course, I was trying to be brave, but the tears kept falling. This was our little conversation:

Ridge: Mommy, did that doctor hurt you?
Me: No Ridge. He didn't hurt me.
Ridge: Well, then why you crying?
Me: God decided it was best to take our baby to be with Jesus.
Ridge: Oh. Don't worry mommy. I'll just ask God to give it back!
Me: Thank you Ridge, but I don't think we can have it back. We won't get to meet our baby until Heaven
Ridge: ok. Are you sad mommy?
Me: Yes, I'm so so sad.

He then gave me a huge two year old hug, told me I was a princess, then asked if he could have a lollipop. Sweet, Sweet Ridge. I am so thankful that he was with me. The Lord provided a way for me to see the blessing in the midst of heartache. He has given me three precious kids who are such a joy. Their presence doesn't take away the pain of losing our precious baby, but it puts a bandaid on it every once in a while.


Jessica said...

that makes me want to cry. how sweet and precious. your Heavenly Father loves you and used Ridge in such a dear way. sad with you. love your faith and answers to Ridge, friend. hugs.

Jenny Beall Roselius said...

Tears for you. Oh Haley, I'm so sorry. What a blessing little Ridge is. Miss you. Praying for you.

The Moshells said...

What tender words that were 100% from his sweet heart. We are praying for your hearts too right now during your loss, and for the Lord's arms to hold you tight.

Stacey said...

We love you and your family so very much. Our prayers continue for you day and night. How I wish we could ease some of your pain.

Thank you for opening up your life and sharing even the raw and painful places. You are so dear.