So this is real. I have a tumor on my heart. It's crazy to think about it. I can't see it, but it's definitely there. I can't sleep, and I pray for sleep. But I also crave to dive into God's Word. "He is before all things and in Him all things hold together." Colossians 1:17. Sometimes I don't understand why things happen the way they do, but I know my God is in control. This gives me so much peace. I know my God is greater than this tumor. But trusting in that continually......I have to pray for it. "May the God of hope fill (us) with all joy and peace as (we) trust in him, so that (we) may overflow with hope by the power of the holy spirit," Romans 15:13. Sometimes I don't see God working in situations unless I reflect back on them. I see clearly so far:
I praise God for my crazy symptoms of the last 6 weeks that led us towards discovering this tumor. I praise God for Dr. Bindra who did blood work and sent me to an ENT to rule out MANY things. I praise God for Dr. Wyll who ruled out any issues with my ears. And I praise him for family who encouraged me to go to a neurologist due to my crazy tremors. I praise God for Erin who thought to call Uncle Jay. I praise God for Dr. Jay Burns who was able to get me into an immediate appointment with a neurologist, Dr. Hinton. I praise God for a clear brain MRI. I praise God for Dr. Hinton who was observant enough to send me to a a cardiologist, Dr. Harper. I praise God for my friend Anne who encouraged me greatly by letting me know that those would be the doctors her dad would have picked for me. I praise God that Dr. Harper did not stop at the EKG and listening to my healthy heart, but he listened to my symptoms and ordered a stress echo. I'm thankful that the stress echo found the mass. I am thankful for all my sweet friends and family who have encouraged me and helped me with my children lately. I am so so thankful that the Lord has put an amazing husband in my life. And my precious kiddos, who comfort me without knowing they are doing it. God truly is good.